4 Acceptable Ways to Respond When Asked: “Are You Getting the Vaccine?”

What do you say when your co-workers ask if you are getting the vaccine, or better yet just assume you are and ask, “when” you are getting it or “have you gotten it yet”?  This question has been sent to me over social media direct messaging more times than I can count so I’m laying out some potential responses for those of you choosing not to take it.

Maybe you work in healthcare, nurses were the ones primarily asking this question at first, maybe not, regardless it’s less a matter of if you get asked and more a matter of when.  Nurses, and other healthcare workers, yeah, I think we anticipate prodding on the subject, but no one expects it from a random lady in the check out line at the grocery store yet, this too is happening.  That said, it’s always good to be prepared for this question rather than caught off guard so you can walk away from the conversation knowing you were true to yourself and confident in your response.

4 Acceptable ways to respond to “the question”

1. That’s personal, I prefer to keep my personal health information private.

The news has struck a nerve with the masses, that nerve being fear.  With so many walking around afraid, it takes little effort to convince people that that they are entitled to try to persuade everyone around them to hop on board the vaccine train.  Not only do they feel it’s their job to persuade you, they also feel they have a right to know if you’ve adopted the same position, after all, if you haven’t you might kill them (I realize this sounds very dramatic but the people pushing are using the word “kill” I’m not just adding it for effect).

Their conviction toward convincing and knowledge of your personal choice doesn’t change the reality that this is in fact, a personal choice.  I wrote in a previous blog about the odd dynamic of seeking to control things so tightly that are very hard to control while letting go of so many other things that are easily implemented and could prevent harm. This pinpoint focus on a singular issue in a world that is still dangerous in innumerable ways, alone should reveal that the question often comes more from a place of being externally manipulated into making this their concern rather than a place of genuine intrinsic interest.

Explaining the shot is a personal choice can be stated in a concise manner.  You can simply say, “that’s a personal question, I’m keeping my choice private.”  You might add that you have spoke with your physician or have been researching and are making a choice based upon the information you’ve gathered. This can be said so many different ways but it all boils down to, politely reminding them, “this is my business and mine only.”

The “it’s personal” response is a great way to handle the question quickly without getting into a long conversation, especially if you are uncomfortable with the questions that come or just feel tired of explaining yourself, this should be the go-to.

2. I’m not getting it. 

Be prepared for a conversation if you just lay it out there with this response. As stated above, people have been made to feel that this is the only  way: back to normal, not to kill grandma, to keep hospitals from being overwhelmed etc. So, if you flat out say “NOPE.” Be ready.

I’m not going to add a lot here because we each have our own reasons why it’s a no-go for us. I’ll just say, remember, many times questions as answers are as effective, if not more, than statements. Sometimes it’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t think about health in the same terms, why you are making this choice, but when you pose some of your statements as questions and get the wheels turning as they search for the answer, it opens up an opportunity for understanding.

Let me give an example: I had a co-worker who had gotten the shot talking to me about why she felt it was important.  She explained that getting vaccinated would keep her from spreading it to her grandma. I mentioned, “actually according to the CDC there was no evidence of preventing transmission, if it works the way it is said to, it would just prepare your own body to combat it when exposed.”  She said, “yes, you’re right but I shouldn’t get as sick and if I’m not as sick then I shouldn’t be able to spread it easily.”  I said, “I agree, that makes sense, so how would you being ‘less sick’ differ from the asymptomatic carrier we have been led to believe is so dangerous, the reason for masking and shutting down the country all year?” She slowly said, “Oh, hmmm, yeah, I don’t know?”  Wheels turning.

If you are up for it, “I’m not getting it” is a great way to start a conversation.  It’s not for everyone but if you can handle it, go for it. Here’s an article to reference.

3. I’m waiting until the vaccine is FDA approved, then I’ll make my decision.

This is by far my favorite. I spent several weeks toward the end of 2020 and January of 2021, hammering home the point that this vaccine is under EUA (emergency use authorization). Subsequently, people who didn’t previously know this vaccine wasn’t approved but had already decided the shot wasn’t for them, realized most didn’t understand this.  So, they started using “I’m waiting until the vaccine is FDA approved” as their go to response and WOW, is it a conversation starter!?

Most in healthcare don’t even have a clue. I watched a well known, local mom blog do a video interview with my old primary care physician where they continually used the word “approved.” “When will it be ‘approved’ for ____ age group?”  “It’s currently ‘approved’ for ____.”  I did a giant face palm and then took to social media reminding everyone, yet again, this shot is not FDA approved. Some people have messaged me saying “oh, it’s been very clear that it’s under EUA, when doctors say ‘approved’ they just mean ’emergency approved’.”  Uhhh, ok, then why don’t they say that?

One thing is clear, and that is, the fact that it is not clear.  This is evidenced by the, “it is approved” statement you get from almost anyone who has the guts to walk up and ask if you are getting the shot after you say you’re waiting until it is.

Here are the fact sheets to both Moderna and Pfizer. On the last page it clearly states that these emergency use authorization products have not went through the same testing process as those that are actually approved. When people say they aren’t going to be part of the trial, it’s because these shots are quite literally still being trialed.

4. When was your last (insert random, very personal, health question).

Ok this last one is just for fun, though I do think with the right person it’s still a perfectly acceptable response, but I’ll leave that for you to decide. I’ll probably stick to one of the first three, but it’s fun to end on a humorous note.

One of my friends told me her boss had asked her if she was getting the vaccine.  She said, “I wanted to ask him, Are you circumcised?”  I about fell over laughing.  I’ve gotten similar messages since saying things like, “when was your last pap?” or “have you had a recent colonoscopy?” Yes, I realize these things are much different than a vaccine, but they are the same from the aspect that they are all personal and all involve your health. The former has just been portrayed in such a way that almost everyone who is getting it somehow feels threatened by those who are not, which begs the question… are they really that confident that it works?

I do think there are those getting the vaccine that believe in it wholeheartedly but I think there are just as many who are unsure and feel threatened less from a physical standpoint and more from a mental/emotional standpoint.   As in, “I’m not sure this is right but if I’m doing it I want everyone else to do it with me…” in other words, if this ship sinks I don’t want to be on it alone… everyone in the same boat, so to speak.

Additionally, I’ve found, most people haven’t thought too deeply or researched their own choice, maybe they didn’t even weigh out the options as a choice at all.  Even in healthcare, most just listen to the news and and accept what they hear someone else say as their own thoughts.  I think realizing not everyone getting the vaccine is confident in their decision coupled with the knowledge that many haven’t put any effort into educating themselves might help you feel more confident in your communication when faced with “the question.’