Pandemic or Perfect Storm?

Back in March 2020, in around a week it’ll have been exactly a year ago, I headed out for groceries, a bit unsure of whether I’d be able to find anything I needed.  I’d heard that the store was basically shopped clean as people panic bought food (and toilet paper) out of fear.  It was a state of mixed emotions realizing nearly everything I had on my list was there in plenty.  The store, yeah, it looked like it had been ransacked but fresh, whole foods were still there, the natural peanut butter brand I buy… still there. I couldn’t help taking a few pictures of the wiped out “Jack’s Pizza” and of all things the syrup section had been completely bought out… not a single Log Cabin or Mrs. Butterworths to be found. What in the world!? I left, happy I was able to fill my cart and sad for our community knowing what food was prioritized in most homes.

As soon as my groceries were put away I took to Instagram, reminding people to “control the controllables.” Stress, diet, movement, sleep, the state of your mind (joy vs. panic) prayer… all of it. I was met with both praise hand emojis and “you’re killing people” comments, some even stating, “well, not everyone can afford fresh food like you.”

On affordability, that’s a conversation I definitely want to have and will continue at another time but for now, I’ll  just say, syrup is not a need.

This all continued and, as we know, progressed past the “two weeks to flatten the curve.” What a joke.

In June, I made a video that explained the ICU I work in is almost always 100% filled with either the elderly (age isn’t a controllable… how we age can be) or people who have made poor lifestyle choices (there it is, the controllable). I explained masks as a compliance piece, a means to an end (a mandated vaccine) and eventually disabled the comment section on that video due to the threatening nature of some of the comments. People were TRIGGERED to put it lightly.

We have a hard time with the truth.

But, the truth is, we are ultimately not in control of a virus, bacteria, the other guy driving like a maniac, a person who has their mind set on murder/stealing/harm of any kind. We aren’t in control of it all, that’s a hard concept to grasp.

On the other hand, there is much we are able to control, our lifestyle, diet, movement, awareness of our surroundings, our eyes on the road, whether or not we lock our doors, what we consume (both via our mouths and minds), how we speak to others, our relationships and interactions, our time in prayer etc. This also seems to be a hard concept, maybe harder. After all, culture seems to love the blame game. Victim mentality is a socially acceptable means to shirking responsibility.

Sometimes bad (and good) things just happen to us, sometimes the things that happen are a direct consequence of our actions.

Life is often a combination of both but what’s so interesting to me; we spend so much time claiming the controllables are somehow so far out of reach, completely beyond our control meanwhile pretending if we just do this one thing, wear a mask, stay home for x number of days, pass a law etc., we can prevent the things that are truly out of our control from ever happening. Seems backwards to me.

No one wants to die…

“No one wants to die” a fellow nurse said the other day. This wasn’t so much a statement as it was a complaint. She was explaining that her patient, a lifelong smoker who was miserable to care for, rude and unhappy didn’t want to take account for the decisions that put him in the hospital in the first place but would likely have the coronary artery bypass surgery as recommended then go back to just “living his life.” She predicted, he’d be back and forth to the hospital for a few years before finally accepting his fate. Yuck. I agree, we could have better conversations surrounding what put him there in the first place (hint: it’s not his ‘bad genes’).  Her point being, in the long run we’ll somehow end up blamed for his poor outcome that we have predicted in advance due to choices he will likely make.

I confronted her with, “yes, similarly with COVID I have heard ‘even one death is one too many’ so many times and can’t seem to grasp what that means.  What is an acceptable cause of death and what do we expect the outcome to be when people don’t take care of themselves? To me, it’s the same scenario, people expecting an outcome inconsistent with the lifestyle they have chosen to live.” She went on to explain how it’s the young deaths that make this so different. I pressed. “Young and “healthy?”

I mean over the fifteen years I have worked in the ICU there absolutely have been some young “healthy” deaths, absolute tragedies. But most of the time, and similarly with any “covid death” I have witnessed that would be considered young, it wasn’t a situation of young and “healthy.”  Young and tragic, yes absolutely. The tragedy, to me, even greater because the health “system” chose to turn a blind eye to true health, by refusing to acknowledge that lifestyle plays a role in all outcomes.

They say things like “you can’t ‘boost’ your immune system.” Uh, ok I can agree the wording is off but you can weaken and strengthen your immune system. You can be in a state of chronic inflammation.  You can be diabetic, prediabetic etc. I started to type a ramble about alkaline diet and pH but I’ll save that for another day, my point is, the “healthcare system” or whatever you choose to call it, doesn’t get health.

I  should add, some of these so called healthy deaths were deemed “healthy” simply because prior to admission, no one had told them they weren’t. If no one says it out loud does that mean it’s not so? Who’s responsible for our health anyways… is it “the system?”

The other night I randomly asked Levi, “Hey, do you think, in 1950 there was anyone who weighed 600lbs?” He said, “if so, probably not very many… for one, they couldn’t afford to be.” Yep. Now, just in the one ICU I work in, I have cared for multiple people who couldn’t go for a needed procedure because they couldn’t tolerate laying flat due to their own weight compressing them, needing a tracheostomy solely because of weight and many other various issues that would not have been a problem had the person themselves chose differently, coped differently etc.

So, what’s the point. Lose weight?

Here’s the deal, I struggled with disordered eating for many years. Another story for another day. From that, though, I have a firm understanding that weight is not a sole indicator of health. I believe the “health at every size” message is a BIG LIE wrapped up into feel good wording to help us again, hide from the truth. No, not every size is healthy. Anorexia is not healthy, starvation is not healthy nor is a sedentary glutinous lifestyle or morbid obesity.  That said, while I don’t buy the lie that is, “health comes in ALL shapes and sizes” I do believe health comes in DIFFERENT shapes and sizes. I do believe weight and BMI are measurable means that can tell us something and not much of anything at the same time. Only you know how you are moving, eating, sleeping, praying, playing… living!  We are the only person that can really know how we are living and feeling, we just have to get honest with ourselves.

I started off in March last year encouraging you to control the controllables and I’m going to ring in the year anniversary (I’m totally rolling my eyes) with the same encouragement. YOU have the power to change YOUR outcome! You may be in a really good spot, if so, you have the power to reflect upon the why and how and continue on.  Or, you may have a lot of heart work to do, as I once did, to cut whatever is tying you to the habits you hold. Just know, what might seem impossible is possible! You can create new habits and start living a lifestyle that reflects the type of life you want. If you want joy, freedom, lightheartedness, you can do that.

No “system” or government will save you.

Your outcome is not dependent on some “broken system” being fixed, a doctor finally giving you the right advice, someone allowing you to change, an Instagram influencer selling you the right diet… it all starts with you and it’s never too late to change. I’m not saying you may not benefit from seeking encouragement, advice or tools to help but ultimately we have to claim responsibility in the seeking, doing and not settling.

So am I evil or am I just honest?

I’m going to leave you with some, what I feel are staggering statistics, and reiterate BMI is a measurable means that may not always be an accurate picture of individual health but I do believe as a nation, we are lying if we can’t face up to the extreme health crisis America is in. Weight is one way of looking at it, the number of Americans relying on prescriptions and the state of our children is another. We truly are all made differently and do come in different shapes and sizes, the extremes we see though, are largely due to the extremely different lives we lead.

CDC LINK: Obesity (a measurable and visually observable indicator often linked to internal issues) is a driver in poor outcomes with this virus.

THE GUARDIAN LINK: The Vaccine is less effective in the obese population, the population I should add, that is most vulnerable.

WORLD POPULATION VIEW LINK: The US is number 12 on the list of countries with the highest rate of obesity (but has the highest obese population… by a longshot). 

Let’s dive into that last one a bit more… Nauru is #1 with 61% of their population being considered “obese.” America is #12 with 36.2% obese.  Nauru ringing in at a population of 10,876 people brings them to 6,634 in the obese category. While US, yes, has a lower percentage of the people considered obese, with a population of 332,915,073, we have 120,515,256 individuals falling into that category. Pretty staggering.

I found it manipulative that the last article used “obesity rate” in ranking countries, placing those with populations in the thousands ahead of America, a country with 332 million, as the most obese.  Whether intentionally manipulative or not, I found this very interesting and worth noting.

I do understand how many, in June, couldn’t see where the masks were leading or see that they were simply a tool, a compliance piece. I understand the anger directed my way. But the health aspect, the fact that lifestyle does absolutely matter, the “Rita is evil and hateful” for talking about a means to better health, is now and was then anger at hearing the truth.

If you really look at all the information out there (even the information that toes the line) you will find, those who have poorer health are more likely to have severe illness, severe illness means higher viral load, higher viral load means greater chance of transmission to others, “super spreaders.” Obesity is also linked to vaccine ineffectiveness. So, why are the leaders trying to dupe the world into believing those who care for their health on the front end (a road less traveled) are somehow the biggest risk to society?

I’ll let you ponder that…

I’m not evil or hateful. The truth is uncomfortable but our discomfort within it, doesn’t make truth a lie or speaking it hateful. Honestly, the willingness to speak it knowing the consequences is often a very loving act, we just have a hard time hearing it. Whether we decide to personally hear the truth, and a step further, whether or not we personally do anything with the truth matters not. Truth remains truth.  Eventually we each will come face to face with it. Some still ignoring and attempting escape by means of blame and victimhood but playing that card won’t save us from our predicament. The decision is ours!

-Rita