Embrace the Imperfection

I had a plan to write, it was well thought out and on a completely different subject. But then I went to yoga. Before we started, my wonderful friend and instructor gave us some inspiration, a little something to think about. She talked about embracing “our story” whatever that may be.  Just loving and accepting all parts of our lives no matter how messy or unappealing.  She closed her moment of inspiration with a quote from an Jon Kabat-Zinn, “You can’t stop the waves but you CAN learn to surf.”  Her words spoke to my heart. Christmas is upon us.  I need to just embrace the imperfection.

In the evenings, especially this time of year, I enjoy relaxing in a clean, uncluttered home, sipping hot tea or maybe a glass of wine, just enjoying the twinkling lights and warm feelings of Christmas joy.  Last night, I had specific plans all drawn out in my head.  They went like this: put on “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” for our annual viewing (after all it won’t really feel like Christmas until we watch that movie at least once) pour a glass of the finest wine money can buy (at Wal-mart) and address our Christmas cards (I know, I know most people already have their’s in the mail, it’s a small miracle mine were even ordered before I had to pay for expedited shipping).

So that night at 9:30 pm, when our house was still messy and I had yet to don my “comfy clothes” our 3 year old came out of her room exclaiming, “I’m scared” and my husband simultaniously took all the laundry out of the dryer and threw it on the couch for folding.  Needless to say, I was less than thrilled. I gave the obligatory passive aggressive huff and eye roll (I’m SO working on that!) then proceeded with verbally expressing how much I’m actually not enjoying the season this year. Because it’s SO BUSY, SO UNORGANIZED and SO MUCH PRESSURE. Then I did my annual “next year will be different speech” that has happened pretty much every year since we’ve had children.

Guess what, next year may be “different” but I’m 99.9% sure the hectic and crazy is here to stay. The part where I get completely overwhelmed; that however, IS somewhat within my control. When I boil it down, most of the “busy” this holiday season can’t be stopped. The overwhelm can be, at least to some extent. If I am honest with myself the expectation of perfection is nearly 100% self induced.

While the Christmas story itself IS absolute perfection. The imperfections experienced by the people in it are immense. Can you imagine living it? Mary didn’t “choose” any of it. She accepted what was put upon her; her purpose, her “story” as my friend called it. Joseph didn’t choose the obligation of being an earthly dad to God, Jesus. Yet, he also accepted his duty, his “story.” Together they traveled the long journey to Bethlehem as commanded and birthed the Savior in a stable with animals surrounding. They accepted, trusted and did not worry or complain about the multitude of imperfections.

Can I be blunt for a second here? When I really think about what I just said, I feel like a complete jerk. Seriously. I’m all bent out of shape because I just can’t stand to look at one single piece of laundry on the couch at 9:30pm but Mary chose to accept instead of complain when it came to having a baby in a stable!? I’m basically a crazy person.

Right now my “story” is a life of running around, place to place doing “things.” My “story” is a husband, kids, a job, a business and blog. Attending family gatherings, women’s group, recitals and school programs, cooking dinner, helping with spelling words and at this very moment having my train of thought interrupted to help one of my little babes find her PJs:  those things are all part of my big complicated yet ordinary “story.” (Yes, I AM painfully aware I WILL, too soon, miss all of those things!) Calm and stillness sound wonderful, but right now, no matter how I try to simplify, that’s just not what life has in store.

Like me, I’m guessing you have a lot on your calendar, mind and heart. This time of year it all gets amplified with gifts to buy and wrap, extra errands, decorating and the additional doing. Juggling it all leaves us feeling overwhelmed, far from perfect and at times even completely inadequate.

This season and every day we all have the ability to choose. Do we accept embrace and enjoy or force fight and fear whatever is put in front of us? We can’t control what life brings our way. Remember, “You can’t stop the waves but you CAN learn to surf.”

So, today I am pledging to do better. There’s still time. This will be a season of great purpose and joy yet! It’s just a matter of staying centered, keeping our hearts in the right place and embracing the imperfection.  Will I lose it one more time?  Will I forget my own message and get a little bent out of shape about all the imperfections…. uh laundry… yeah, probably. That IS one of my imperfections!

Regardless, Jesus calms the storm. Slowly through Him learning how to “surf.”

Mark 4:39 And He arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, peace, be still. And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.

Blessings,

Rita